Friday, February 3, 2012

India's Test Woes

In a country where all students fear cycle test, midterm, semester, viva, thesis, and 100 more, asking laxman (with a potbelly) to play test cricket is ridiculous. While everyone can have their opinions about what can the BCCI,selectors, team management do (who cares even the likes of Arun Lal, Nikil chopra and Vinod Kambli criticize Indian team's poor show), It would be a grave mistake on my part if i don't give my suggestions.

1.BCCI should another test series with Australia in India. Call it the revenge series (Give some name Agneepath, Dewar,etc). India will thrash Aussies outright. Now media can claim moral victory. (This is vadivelu's strategy in Nagaram movie)

2. Clause a)Make Kenya and Zimbabwe test playing nations and play back to back home and away matches.
Clause b) Organize back to back test series against Sri Lanka. India Tour of Srilanka. Srilanka tour of India. (3 test matches and 5 ODis each) on Sub continent Wickets. And we can claim no.1 spot.

3. BCCI should use its money power to bully ICC and declare bowling bouncers to Indian batsman as offense. Grade 1 offense (like Virat's Middle finger). Repeated offenses can lead to suspension and possible ban.

4. If nothing works out, play racism card against South Africa, England, Australia, New Zealand. Tell them you won't tour as racial abuse in demeaning and demotivating. You can win matches in other countries.

5. Last but not the least. Hire our Minister Kapil Sibal as Troubleshooter for current test debacle. He'll claim there was no 4-0 loss in test series in Australia and England. The players followed the 1955 team strategy, a policy framed by his predecessors. No loss policy like in 2G case.

PS:I hope Sibal doesn't censor my blog. All points have been suggested with a lighter vein. Even if it doesn't evoke laughter, try laughing at mokka jokes. Good for health.

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